All of us cherish the times of our lives when we are in "flow," when the moments unfold effortlessly and we feel aligned with ourselves, those around us and life itself. Then there are the times we experience being out of flow and we are presented with problem after problem. Lex offers a fresh perspective regarding how to view all the problems of our lives, which will actually support us all into getting back into the flow.
Podcast: The Power of Perspective
We oftentimes end up clinging to our "truth" regardless of whether or not it is an accurate and complete perception of the ultimate reality. Perception is extremely important for even false perceptions create your reality and when we perceive in error oftentimes the result is some degree of suffering, tightness or disillusion. Lex dives into how we can practice "perceiving" correctly in just a simple step.
Podcast: The Creative Cycle
Suffering is created by resisting what is unfolding in your life. It's that simple. In this episode Lex dives deep into the stages of the "creative cycle"and applies this cycle to the world of relationships.
Podcast: Letting Go
How many times have you wished you could just "let go" in an instant? Letting go is one of those mysterious things that you can't necessarily think your way through or force to happen when you want it to. In this episode Lex dives deep into four important points that will help you let go inside and out.
Podcast: Polishing Your Diamond Heart
Instead of crumbling under pressure, Lex talks us through the alternative of utilizing the pressure arising in a moment to clean and polish the facets of one's eternally flawless, diamond heart. Lex uses the analogy of viewing the True Self as a diamond, helping us to realize the Truth that no matter what unfolds in our lives, the Truth of who we are remains priceless and brilliant.
The Deep Geek Podcast
Well friends - it’s been a long journey towards releasing this podcast.🤪 Hahah longer than expected! 🙄 I’ve been working on it behind the scenes for almost a year and finally we’re getting there. 🤦🏻♀️ And yes, I do mean “WE” as I have had a lot of help and support with the production of this podcast.
Justin: Your heart is one that is full of service. It’s one of your greatest strengths - remember that always.🐒Thank you for encouraging me to do this, for literally holding my hand through this…ahahah and even dragging me forward in moments. 😆 A single episode wouldn’t exist without your help and support. You’re a true friend…inside out, and upside down.
Aaron + McKenna: Thank you both for pushing me over the finish line!!! Not just the technical side of things, but what truly motivated me was the quality of presence and care both of you recently offered me. That’s the support I really cherish. (PS: You guys always make my job sooooo easy!)
Adam: You might have thought I’ve forgotten but no no no…thank you for correcting me that night I told you I was a geek, and you called me a “DEEP Geek.” You were spot on! Thank you for seeing me so clearly.
One thing I have learned over the four books I’ve written, is that when you create an offering from the very depths of your heart, the whole process is actually more of an inner journey than an outer. With each book I wrote, it had less to do with what was being written on the page and more to do with becoming the author that would eventually write that specific book. And sometimes that takes time!
The same is true for this podcast. It took some time to launch the episodes, not because they weren’t ready to go, but because I wasn’t ready to go. But guess what baby?! I’m ready!!!
So here we go guys…kick back, relax, take a deep breath and prepare to dive deep with me each week as we geek out on the path of Yoga, the philosophical teachings of the masters, and the journey of opening our innermost hearts.
The Deep Geek Podcast is a place where Lex offers a contemporary approach to awakened living.
Lex isn’t just any old geek. As a spiritual teacher and author, Lex geeks out on the DEEP philosophical teachings that pertain to our psychological wellbeing, the fulfillment of our hearts, and ultimately, enlightenment. She discusses the "old skool" teachings in a way that weaves easily into one’s modern day life. Listeners receive a well-balanced, inspired dose of insight and wisdom to support their own paths of awakening and self-realization.
Dive deep with Lex each week and geek out on eastern philosophy, the path of yoga and other relevant spiritual teachings.
Blessings for 2019
I’m not someone who is for or against New Year’s resolutions, yet I do find it important to pay attention to the energy one places behind whatever intention or commitment they make. When we make choices or take actions that come from a limited or constricted place within us our intentions are essentially meaningless.
An intention or commitment is just like a yoga posture - and as I continually remind my students, the poses themselves are meaningless. Absolutely f’in meaningless!! Basically they are shapes we take with the body that we have assigned English animal names to (WTF, right?). BUT…what makes them meaningful is YOU. It is when you fully embody the pose within a moment do you find meaning on the mat.
It is the same with any intention or commitment, they are meaningless unless you allow there to be a genuine movement from the heart behind them, which is the force that brings them ALIVE.
Remind yourself why you are making your intention or commitment, not once on January 1st, but in all the simple moments of your day. Allow this “why” to emerge from the spaciousness and unparalleled power of your heart so that when you do face adversity or shit hits the fan, you have the movement of the heart BEHIND your intention and commitment to carry you through. There is no greater power than the power of the heart, so please sweet friends, whatever it is you do, invest a movement from the heart into it. And just watch, you’ll come alive in ways you would have never expected.
As for me, well…if I had to choose an intention for 2019 it would be the same honest wish I have for you. For us all to COME FULLY ALIVE. How do we do that? To allow the truthfilled movement of our hearts to be our primary guide.
When you remind yourself of what is meaningful to you, you will become automatically connected to the cave of your heart - the infinite temple within.
Here is a New Year’s blessing I wrote, which will be included in my new book - Auspicious Openings (back from the editor, waiting on the cover - yay). These words are my gift to you, because what is meaningful to me as a teacher, is to inspire my students to clear their minds where they are blocked or agitated. To release in their bodies where they feel tight and trapped. And above all else, to soften where they feel hardened so they may open their hearts wherever they feel closed.
This year, come alive with me and “lets go somewhere wonderful we could have never imagined.”
Namaste,
lex xox
FRESH
A New Year’s Blessing
As you close the chapter of another year,
Take note that every closing is actually an opening.
For now, you metaphorically say goodbye to a year that has come and gone,
Yet deep down nothing is leaving you.
For years come and go,
Just like the waves rise and fall in the infinite sea,
Yet you lose nothing by it all.
As you scan the horizon with your gaze,
Drinking in the resplendence of this year’s last setting sun,
May a wellspring of eagerness, excitement,
And auspicious wonder overtake you.
There is a new adventure that awaits...
It is here.
Open your heart to it.
You are ready.
This new adventure is called 2019.
So open extra-wide, embrace the unknown and
Welcome the possibility of being surprised & delighted!
Let’s go somewhere wonderful we could have never imagined.
And in this New Year,
May each step you take be on a golden-lit path.
May each hand you hold feel the warmth of your compassion.
May each word you speak spread kindness & clarity.
May each thought that surfaces come from the remembrance of
Who you really are...
An infinite ocean, that loses nothing from the passing waves at sea.
And each day when your eyes open,
May you embark on the adventure of a new day with reverence, humility & fortitude.
Lastly,
May you find patience in the moments when you are quick to act.
May you find wisdom in places you feel disillusioned.
May you find strength in situations where you identify with fragility.
May you find courage to stay OPEN when your heart wants to close.
And most importantly,
May you see only Love everywhere you look.
All Ways
Every time I go spend time with Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi) it is transformative in all ways. Yet, it isn’t what most people perceive it to be, some over the top, mystical or “woo-woo” event/cult. My experience couldn’t be further away from the sense of these terms.
Sure, there are moments of transcendence and/or incredible expansiveness (I have a collection of some pretty hilarious videos taken in the wee hours of the morning to prove so). But make no mistake, my experience has never been some euphoric, cloud 9, mind-trip.
What I believe to be most important when sharing about my time spent with Amma is that it is a place where it is extremely difficult to lie to oneself. You and I both know all the little ways that we tell ourselves “stories” and get away with it. We perceive ourselves, each other, and life in error and typically our day-to-day activities don’t call us out on our B.S. Ha! Not in the presence of a being such as Amma.
When I am in her presence, the truth is always revealed. Most often this truth isn’t monumental or drastically life-altering like “MOVE TO HAWAII” or “BREAK UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND” or “QUIT YOUR JOB!” No no. The truth makes itself known in much more subtle ways, at least for me. Such as an overwhelming sense of a deep all-pervading love swelling within my heart. Or a profound realization of peace about a decision I am about to make. Or even a sudden increase of stamina and devotion for my own path of Yoga when I’m facing difficult times. Ya know, the “stuff” that ends up making the biggest impact in your life but can’t be bought, faked, grasped, or artificially created within.
Specifically, my experience spending time with Amma is a period of accelerated inner work. Emphasis of the word “work.” (Ugh…I’m rolling my eyes.) Being in the Guru’s presence for me – this relationship is very sacred, so I cannot speak for others – is about deeply purifying my heart and removing the residue clouding the mirror that reflects who I really am inside and the window in which I see and perceive others.
One of my soul sisters and I oftentimes joke that seeing Amma is like getting a super, deep cleansing and purifying facial, and that the process starts about 4 weeks before you see her. It is as followed:
4 weeks to go: Cleansing of the Skin
Your life requires a little more focused attention. You find yourself letting go of things with little effort or resistance, yet you sense an energy of purification starting to sweep through your life.
3 weeks and counting: Physical Exfoliation
Things start to get rough and gritty like a microdermabrasion, a heavy-duty scrub, or for all y’all men, think of sandpaper to your face. A person starts to wonder “Why am I so triggered,” hahaha and more importantly, “Why is everyone around me suddenly such assholes?!?” (lol) Like Amma has said, she puts our rough edges together so that we can smooth each other out.
2 weeks before: Chemical Peel
As if the grittiness of the scrub wasn’t enough, then comes the mask or a peel that BURNS hotter than hell itself. Whatever discomfort you thought you were in with the grittiness of the scrub, oh baby, you didn’t realize what was comin’ at ya! This is when one basically loses their mind, emotional pain arises, hurtful things are said, breaks and ending unfold, embarrassing events take place, spontaneously stupid choices are made (Speaking from experience here!) basically…whatever brings you “discomfort” in your life, expect a good dose of it. Wink!
1 week away: Extractions
Alright, so having cleansed, scrubbed and the shit burnt out of you, you’re finally ready for all your GUNK that has been brought to the surface to be extracted! While one might want to avoid this step of the journey at all costs, you really don’t have a choice with all your negative tendencies, karmas and character defects right at the surface. It’s time to purge and purify those pores with the greatest cosmic extractor!
Into Amma’s Arms:
So just imagine, now your pores have been so cleansed and purified that you’re literally wide open. You wait for hours, then finally it’s your turn and you get on your knees right in front of Amma, you’re completely depleted and exhausted by the whole damn process, that you outstretch your arms in full surrender in your body, mind and heart. Your arms are open and your “pores” even more open, Amma takes you into her arms and BLASTS you with enough shakti and love to catapult a rocket ship to another galaxy.
In that moment, the whole uncomfortable process of getting there disappears, and all that you remember is love.
And somehow, someway I always come out the other side of this experience not only a better, clearer, purer version of myself, but also 100% certain that this purification was essential in all ways. For my offerings to be more potent, my work to be more precise, my relationships to be more loving, and to continue evolving on this beautiful path of Yoga.
I once heard someone explain that taking my yoga class was equal to the experience of childbirth. While in the process of it, it’s terrible and you can’t wait for it to be over. But once you’re done, you’re first thought is, “That was fucking awesome!!! I want to do it again!” Well I haven’t pushed out a baby but this is EXACTLY how I feel about spending time with Amma.
Within the past month, I saw Amma on two different continents and also attended a 9-hour Shaktipat meditation intensive with the Siddha Yoga lineage. Which all of this just means that I’ve been sitting on my ass A LOT with my eyes closed.
Let me sum it all up for you to save you the trouble of spending countless hours in meditation. No need for the both of us to live the life of a monk.
Here’s what I felt going in:
There is a place within you, that is also within me. This is the spot in which the entire Universe rises into form and dissolves back into the infinite. When we are in this place within our own selves simultaneously, we are One. And this is Love.
As I emerged on the other side, it had simplified to:
I do not exist outside of you, yet you live within me.
Therefore…wherever you go, my love is with you always.
After completing my month of meditation, mantras and maniac moments (lol), my heart opened wide, love swelled within me up to my eyes. I swear it was pouring out of me and everywhere I looked I saw only beauty.
I wrote this poem in my head while driving home from the shaktipat intensive. After a month with my eyes closed, when I finally opened them, I had never been more clear -
“My love is with you in all ways, always.”
All Ways
Wherever you are,
My love is with you...
Always.
It presents itself
In the most apparent
And unexpected ways.
Like when you stand
At the edge of the ocean,
And the expansiveness
Inspires you to deeply inhale.
That breath you take in
Is none other than my love.
Filling you with the remembrance
Of your own
Infinite and resplendent nature.
Or when you do the right thing,
Deep down
You know it was right,
And it feels good inside
To have made such a choice.
That goodness
Swelling within you
Is also my love.
Or when you perceive yourself to be stuck.
And instantly
you feel free.
Limitless.
That was the work of my love
Longing to teach you
To see yourself
How I see
And know you to be.
And when the day’s sun is setting,
And for a moment
You ponder
The meaning behind your existence.
My love kindles a fire inside of you
So as tomorrow
When your eyes open,
Your day appears
Brighter,
Your path more lit.
So sweet one,
Do you see?
You need not worry,
Or ever stop to question
This truth,
My love is with you...
In all ways,
Always.
Auspicious Openings - New Book Intro!
Okay okay, someone has brought to my attention that in my last blog post, sadly to say 1 year ago now, I mentioned that I was planning to write and post more often. Oops! Well at least going forward from now, if I post more than once a year I’m doing a hell of a lot better than my track record.
While you haven’t seen any posts or new works from me this past year, I have been a busy little bee teaching yoga and philosophy, as well as simultaneously writing two new books (insert palm to forehead). One of these writing projects is now moving towards publication - Auspicious Openings: A Collection of Invocations, Blessings + Poetry for the Modern-Day Yogi.
Hope you enjoy the intro to my new book posted below. It’s a little something to tide you over until my next post, which hopefully will be sooner than Navaratri 2019. But hey! No promises (wink!).
Auspicious Openings:
A Collection of Invocations, Blessings + Poetry for the Modern-Day Mystic.
In my opinion, anytime we are faced with uncomfortable, devastating or life-altering experiences, it is actually a call to start living from a more awakened, connected and alive space within ourselves. The unwanted and uncomfortable circumstances that inevitably unfold in our lives, aren’t a form of punishment but rather an invitation into something beautiful. This invitation is an opening that actually brings with it the blessings for a greater sense of fulfillment and meaning than we are currently living with.
Please don’t misunderstand me…by no means am I suggesting that when things are F*CKED that it doesn’t hurt like hell and make absolutely zero, logical sense. But what I have found to be true along my own path, is that every time I journeyed (more like initially being dragged kicking and screaming against my free-will) into a “Dark Night of the Soul,” when I finally emerged on the other side, my heart was radically more open. My eyes brighter. My understanding both deepened and expanded. My availability to others, the present moment, and myself all had incredibly increased.
All of these things automatically elevate levels of joy, inner peace, productivity, connection and fulfillment in our day-to-day lives. They also refine our expression and offerings of love into something deeper, wider, and with a greater potency behind it.
In a way, the “Dark Night” always sets us free in the places we didn’t even know we were bound.
When these periods of darkness surface, it’s important to be willing to see things differently than how we immediately perceive them to be. I cannot emphasize this enough! Whatever one’s spiritual/religious views are, we can all agree that there is something going on behind the scenes and underneath the surface that we are not privy to or perhaps is far beyond our own intellectual conceptualization. Truth is, we don’t know what’s really going on here! And we can’t either from our limited brain-space of mental thinking, analysis and hypothesizing. Acknowledging that we can’t see the big picture opens us up for a profound revelation and/or awakening. This is the auspicious opening that changes everything. Even Einstein said, “A problem can’t be solved by the same level of consciousness that created it.”
This is exactly what is happening during a “Dark Night of the Soul” – we are being asked to problem solve by expanding our current level of consciousness rather than retreating into the mental realm to seek answers, meaning and a solution to free us from our suffering. A “Dark Night” invites us to grow internally in the places we believe we can’t grow anymore. To let go where we are clinging. To open when it hurts. These periods have less to do with all the drama in the physical world and more to do with what is happening internally at our level of consciousness.
This is why most people get stuck in despair for years (Which won’t be you now that I have a dog in this fight, WINK!) because they are focusing their energy in the wrong place – outside of themselves. Fixating and focusing on the details of what happened in the physical, ends up distracting ourselves from the greater meaning behind life’s unfolding situations.
Eventually we all must be brave enough to stop turning away from our inner worlds and distracting ourselves with the drama of our external lives. Perhaps this moment comes when the pain of not looking has become greater than our own fear of looking within. When this time does come (either this life or another) we will discover that it’s really not about what has happened in our outer lives, but the true purpose behind all the painful/chaotic/uncertain series of events has always been to free something within ourselves.
Remember, all your potential lies within the darkness! When you find yourself in a “Dark Night of the Soul,” it is not a time to curse the darkness, but to bring the light! When you do so, in a split-second things will change. I promise you that.
Time doesn’t change things, inner illumination does.
Inner illumination is like striking a match in a room that has been dark for a thousand years…in a single moment all darkness is eradicated. This is the power of choosing to bring the light – the power of shifting internally rather than focusing externally. Inner illumination changes everything. Anger diminishes, depression lifts, clarity returns and ultimate peace is restored. From this place, anything is possible.
There is a new beginning that awaits you that holds tremendous meaning, beauty and of course, love. On some level you can sense it. Feel into it…the opening is already here. As things play all the way out and the truth is revealed – which I assure you it will – you’ll come to agree, that while all of this was not what you would have initially chosen for your life, it did have to be just so.
My only wish is that something within these pages inspires you to see the real value of "turning within" during dark and/or uncomfortable times. May these invocations, blessing and poems help you to open as wide as you can to the promises and gifts embedded within these auspicious openings.
Navaratri 2017 - Behind the Scenes
I recently went through a big shift in life when I let go of a group I had been religiously attending and committed to for the past year and half. I also cleaned out all my closets and drawers in my house, and took inventory of how I was spending my time and who I was spending it with. Everything needed a recalibration – no matter how big or small.
In the added space I created from letting go of what wasn’t in alignment anymore, I immediately got an intuitive hit to fully commit to honoring Navaratri this year. For those of you who aren’t familiar, Navaratri (also spelt Navratri) is a Hindu festival celebrating, honoring and worshipping the Goddess for nine nights. Navaratri literally means nine nights. It is a sacred time of year to spend journeying deep within oneself, praying, meditating and communing with the Divine/Brahman/God/etc. It is a time of drawing forth the Spirit that dwells inside of you.
Navaratri is the celebration of light overcoming darkness.
When I got the divine download to fully commit myself to the holiday I instantly felt an uprising surge of energy course through my body. “This is gonna be goooooooood,” I intuitively knew.
I immediately requested pujas (ceremonies of worship) at Amma’s temple in India for all nine nights and committed to performing pujas in my own home as well. I dedicated additional time throughout my day to sit in meditation. People will oftentimes fast during Navaratri, but let’s be honest...I would end up strangling myself or someone else. Not a good idea! So I decided to cleanse with primarily fruits and nuts. Totally manageable! Ha, and yes...I even stuck to my cleanse when I attended a black tie gala at Rancho Valencia. Truth be told, it was easy...I wasn’t tempted or frustrated ONCE the entire nine days. I might have been lame at social gatherings but never was I tempted, frustrated, or irritable.
First off, one of the biggest reminders that surfaced through observing Navaratri was the power of devotion. I wasn’t on a cleanse for a physical reason, but a reason of the heart. Everything I did was an offering to Ma – the Divine Mother. I gave up what we all believe to be nourishment here in the physical world to be nourished and sustained by Her – her Shakti and her Love.
I also had major realizations working with the deities. My relationship and understanding of each dramatically deepened, even after 7+ years of working with the murtis. (A murti is a statue of a deity.) In Navaratri 3 nights are devoted to each Goddess: Durga, Lakshmi and, lastly, Saraswati.
When Durga was on the altar, I was reminded of how she is the fierce mother driving me FORWARD in life. Anything that I was dragging my feet about – within myself, in relationship or related to work – was no longer accepted. Immediately, I started to push forward, gain momentum and velocity as I tackled anything and everything that had been on my to-do list.
Durga was INTENSE. I’ll be honest. There was a lot of tears and releasing. Not in a suffering way by any means, just a deep soulful clearing. It actually felt really good. Ya know how clear and beautiful the sky becomes AFTER the storm??? That’s exactly how my heart felt after a few days of giving myself completely to Durga.
When it came time to put Lakshmi front and center I was so surprised to find how extremely gentle her energy was. She’s soooo sweet! Ha, profoundly different than Durga! After my deep soulful clearing with Mama Durg, Lakshmi came in and REFINED me. She smoothed out any leftover rough edges, and polished anything that was dull.
I received her wisdom and guidance regarding a few areas of my personality that were “prickly” and at times borderline “obnoxious” (hahah and quite possibly frighteningly annoying to others). There was nothing to necessarily be released during my time with Her, but rather everything associated with “refinement” and “beauty.”
Also, because Lakshmi is the goddess of abundance, I think people have the misconception that it just takes a prayer to Lakshmi and a check will show up in the mail. I didn’t receive a lump sum of money from an unknown source, but what Lakshmi did grant me was tremendously insightful IDEAS about my work and offerings, and my hunch is, when implemented, they will bring forth the abundance in many forms, including monetarily.
Lastly...Saraswati took me deep. DEEEEP. She is the goddess of wisdom, writing, speaking, music, study, etc. I have worked with one Saraswati murti for the past 5 or 6 years while writing, but something inside of me stirred for a specific murti my dear friends have on the altar in their temple.
I actually had asked my friend, Manoj, if I could buy this specific statue from them in January. Even though Manoj is my homeboy, he told me no, but he would bring me one just like it from India. For some reason I passed...just didn’t feel right.
As synchronicities would have it (which Saraswati orchestrates these), I ran into Manoj a few days before Navaratri began down at the Vedanta Center. To make a long story short, he told me that I could have Her – the Saraswati I had originally felt drawn to!
This specific murti had been on their altar in their temple for 7 years, and in January he wasn’t ready to part with her, but he shared that he knew now was the time. Something had shifted. And not a shift in him, or even that I was now ready to take her home...but that SHE was ready to TAKE ME. That's how the Goddess works, ya see...
On the first day of Saraswati puja (Day 7 o Navaratri), Manoj and I met at his temple at 11:11am (yes...we both geek out on this stuff so of course we made our date for 11:11). Bless this man’s big beautiful heart as he greeted me and led me into the curtain-drawn temple and sat me down right in front of Saraswati. He led me through an illuminating meditation, teaching and weaving in the symbolism of this beloved Goddess.
“Soon...” he said, “You will realize that she is simply mirroring you.”
In this moment of the ceremony of what felt like initiating Saraswati as my ishta-devata (primary deity residing inside of someone) I broke open in silent tears. I realized that yes, Saraswati is reflecting who I am right now in my life.
I took her all in, the murti steeped in symbolism, and gazed at her holding the Vedas, which represented my great passion for studying and teaching the philosophy. She also holds a musical instrument and her presence resides in the throat, opening one’s heart through music. I am currently busting through some blocks with expressing through my voice and playing guitar (thanks to my new AMAZING guitar teacher!). I took note of her malas, and looked down to see an identical one on my wrist, representing my devotion and commitment to self-realization...my commitment to the Inner Path.
After I brought her home for 3 nights of puja, I was hit download after download of what I am to teach in 2018. I’ve been working on trusting whatever the intuitive hits are, allowing the Divine to simply move through me with the teachings.
“I am just the faucet. You, my beloved, are the water. Pour through me. I pray...please, pour through me. Use me.”
There are too many beautiful and auspicious moments to document here of my 9 nights with the Goddess. But take this with you...
Whatever you believe in, a higher power, a specific path to God, it doesn’t matter, just know that profoundly mystical and auspicious things will unfold naturally if you simply surrender to going DEEP along this path. You will find so much meaning and clarity!!! Over and over through the pujas and meditations last week I would pray with as much devotion, bhakti, and openness I could possibly call forth when I would call out in prayer “TAKE ME DEEP! I am yours. Take me deep. I am willing.”
Deep within us is the I AM presence, the seat of our divinity, the same creative power that orchestrated and maintains this entire Universe. Going deep is the brave quest of the mystic – the courageous willingness to go into the darkened aspects of the soul and bring LIGHT to the shadowy areas of consciousness. Going deep requires one...yes, REQUIRES one to look at the things he/she is repeatedly turning away from out of fear, denial and/or shame.
As Joseph Campbell said, “ The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you’re looking forward.”
Taking the hero’s/heroine’s journey of the Inner Path this Navaratri has dramatically reinspired me to teach more, write daily, and most importantly...to Love wider, deeper and better, every chance I get.
Om parasaktiya namah!
Namaste.
Resolution or Ego Trap?
I was asked if I would teach class on New Year’s Day, and of course I jumped at the opportunity. Not because I was in town and had no plans for New Years Eve other than the plan to stay home, drink tea, snuggle with my main man (King!) and catch up on some much needed “Zzz’s” by hitting the sack at 8pm. No, no, no...I jumped at teaching because to me I am always so incredibly honored to share my teachings in the yoga room, and especially on the precious day of January 1st.
I spent a good week contemplating and meditating on what my offering would be to my students. And really, what I mean by that is I spent a week surrendering myself – letting go of whatever my ego wanted to teach – so that I could open up to RECEIVE the teachings from my inner guidance system. As I got myself out of the way, I received the inspiration and direction for a radical heart opening class. Peak pose? Handstand Scorpion, baby! (Against the wall...against the wall, of course.)
So I’m dyin’ to know, how many of you set intentions, goals or resolutions for 2017? I’m obviously curious about what those are, but in all honesty, I’m more interested in where that intention/goal/commitment/resolution was conceived?
Is your intention for 2017 conceived out of awakened consciousness or out of the ego?
Hmm...right? Please allow me to explain.
Typically all “resolutions” can be funneled into two categories (which are really one of the same, but to begin let’s simplify and break ‘em up into two. You know I got your back, wink!)
First, people often make a commitment to “GAIN” something, yes? Someone might make a resolution to “gain” work, relationships, travel, money, business opportunities, a healthy/sexy body, joy, inner peace, laughter, love, play, etc. We clear? Good, that’s the easy one.
The second group of resolutions are centered around “GIVING UP” something. Someone might choose to give up coffee (ummm...I’d rather cut off my arm then give up my Nespresso machine), animal meat, negative behavioral patterns, conditioned emotional reactions, swearing, running late, you name it. Yes?
Okay, but here’s the underlying energy behind this so-called “giving up.”
People make resolutions to GIVE UP something, but they are giving up one thing to GAIN something else.
Interesting, right? (The bright red flashing light indicating “attachment” just starting blinking in my mind’s eye.) Ask anyone who has made a resolution to “give up” something why they chose that particular thing and you will discover, woven into their reasoning, their “desire” to gain an internal or external experience.
So you see, regardless if you are giving up something or committing to gain something in your experience of life, resolutions are most often conceived out of DESIRE. Duh duh duh....!!!!! EGO!
Alright, friends, so here’s what is so important to comprehend if we choose to make any resolutions for 2017.
You are already completely full inside. There is nothing to gain!
Spirituality isn’t about GAINING anything. It is about shedding anything and everything that isn’t in highest vibrational alignment to your True Being.
In the Yoga philosophy there is a Sanskrit term “purna,” which means absolute fullness. Purna relates to the fullness we will experience when we awaken to and sit in the seat our True Being. The absolute Truth is...we are so full inside that there couldn’t even be a hint (not even a little, tiny, baby, infra decimal HINT) of lack. Read that again!
At the core of who you really are inside...you are SO full there couldn’t even be a hint of lack.
Wow. Right? Whew...breathe that in, my love. Pause. Enjoy the sweet taste of Truth.
So sweet friend, now the question becomes:
If you came to fully comprehend this and tasted the sweet nectar of your profound fullness, what resolution would you make for 2017?
If you realized in this moment, fully awoke to the Truth of the infinte purna within you – that there is nothing for you to ever gain outside of yourself – would your intention/resolution be ANNNYYY different than the one you have already made? If it is, that is a clear sign that your original intention was conceived out of the ego.
The moment we move into “gain” (highlighted in both the receiving and the giving up intentions) we have abandoned this inner dwelling place of purna and have instantly realigned with the ego. The ego is one hungry mo fo – it will use every single experience of life to feed its insatiable and desirous hunger.
When intentions are conceived out of the ego they feed only the ego. And when the ego is fed, what does it do? Eats more!!!! No matter if you “achieve” these egoic intentions or goals perfectly, you will have still missed the mark. Regardless of how much the ego gains, true everlasting qualities of our True Being will remain in the shadows of our sleepy consciousness.
No matter how much we gain in the realm of the ego, Shantaya, Purna, Ananda, Moksha – Ultimate Peace, Profound Fulfillment, Infinite Bliss, and Absolute Freedom – will continue to be in the outer reaches of our experience. These qualities are only accessed from nourishing the True Being and awakening the consciousness.
So we can see that there is no egoic intention, commitment, resolution or goal that will bring to us the gift of awakening the consciousness. It’s impossible. Miracles do not enter into our experience due to a call from the ego. Period. And in the moment we realize this, we instantly become closer to that which our heart truly longs for. No, not the world's largest bank account of Mr. Right Now – get your mind outta the gutter! Our heart truly longs for the completion of our individual soul’s mission and an awakening of the consciousness.
Here’s a little secret. Everything the ego desires and lusts over will not provide profound fulfillment. BUT! There is a but! You can peel back every single egoic desire, every single dream or want you have, peel it all the way back to discover that what you really long for is the result of the awakening of the consciousness in that particular area. It’s not the job, the bank account, the Mercedes, Prince Charming, an army of children, blah, blah, blah, that will tap you into the profound fulfillment – purna – at your essence. The ego only desires these things because it craves FULFILLMENT. It craves fulfillment because you are disconnected from the purna within you!! So hello?!?!?! If we want to transcend the hamster wheel of egoic desires and truly live a life that is profoundly fulfilled we must focus on awakening the consciousness and tapping into the purna held within it.
I hope you are as pumped up as I am about this! So, I’m sure you’re wondering...how do we awaken the consciousness? Well, I’m sorry to say...it isn’t prestigious or glamorous, hopefully you weren’t expecting it to be.
We awaken the consciousness through absolute, total, and radical personal surrender.
Surrender to me is the only valuable resolution or intention to ever commit to. And I mean ABSOLUTE surrender. Most people say they are surrendered but you’ll find that they are “surrendering” with a plethora of contingencies and bargaining from the ego. WAKE UP! This is NOT surrender. Just like Truth can only be Truth if it is 100%...same applies to surrender. You can’t be 99% surrendered, you gotta be 100%, baby!!
When we surrender, we soften our effortful personal will, we give up our ego and allllll its wants/desires, and rather we melt the heart back into the hands of the Universe. We surrender back towards being held and guided every step of the way. Surrender requires us to resist the urge to rely on our effortful personal will to make shit happen in our lives. Surrender is about opening our hearts – even so much as devotionally offering our hearts – to the Divine.
The resolution to 100% surrender (without bargaining from the ego) will nourish your True Being, awaken your consciousness and open you up to miracles like you never even considered possible.
So please, in 2017...get the hell out of your own way. Please. Surrender.
Namaste peeps!
Being Love Without Attachment
I recently spent time with Amma at one of her retreats in San Jose. It was an incredible experience on so many levels. The best way that I can describe the retreat is comparing it to a very intense emotional healing, personal development or self-help program. Ya know the kinds that require SO much work. The writing, the talking, the lectures, the sharing, the homework, and the list goes on. And ya know even though it is SO much effort and “processing” during that period, at the end, you always experience the result of awakened consciousness. Yes? You always feel, in a way, rebirthed, cleared, wiped clean, and the benefits of your effort are all revealed.
Yeah, well after spending a few days receiving and witnessing Amma give Darshan, I experienced that same sense of renewal, epiphany, and paradigm shift at the end. Except, the actual experience is the EXACT opposite of effort.
Time with Amma is about absolute surrender. Zero effort. It’s about letting go and simply receiving her infinite Love, her embrace and allowing the Darshan to take care of itself. There is no talking, processing, sharing – haha, and instead there are trays full of vegan chocolate cake! (Sooo basically HEAVEN!) You sit in a chair for 3 days – one night we sat for 17 hours straight or some nonsense – completely mesmerized by her capacity of Love and pumped full of so much Shakti you couldn’t sleep even if you tried. This beingness – her Love – heals people by waking them up without all the effortful attempts to shift, change and transform.
Just being “in Love” with Amma has healed millions of people.
One of my greatest takeaways was peeling back another layer as it relates to the difference between human love and Divine Love.
Humanly love is really just attachment. We have labeled what that “attachment” feels like mentally, emotionally and vibrationally as love. In this sense, we have decided to put love between you and me, like in the phrase “I love you.” In this humanly sense, it is love that “attaches” me to you. This is not True Love. Humanly love/attachment is sourced from the ego.
Divine Love is totally free of this attachment of me and you. There is no “love” or “attachment” between us or anything used to tether us together (marriage license, terminology, etc.). Rather, it is about being “Love” – waking up to the essence of who we really are inside by transcending the ego – and holding that in the totality of our individual beings, together.
Divine Love is about becoming Love. Instead of “I love you,” it is “I am Love.”
This reminded me of the journey and practice of Yoga – I am Love, you are Love and we step forward into Love together, yes?
Namaste = When I am in this place of Love, and you are in this place of Love, we are One.
In this sense, you see that Love is no longer an attachment but rather a state of being. This is the beauty of the yogic path and its teachings regarding non-attachment & non-clinging – aparigraha. The absolute truth is, the greater you cling to something, the greater the suffering when it is lost.
This right here is the Achilles’ heel of the human condition. So many people are in incredible depths of suffering due to their attachments they refer to as “love.” They choose to cling to the idea of “love” as something that will bring forth the feeling of Oneness but as long as there is attachment, there is ego, and while there is ego there is no Oneness. To me it’s pretty damn clear – now sure what all y’all are missin’?
The Great Work of awakening the consciousness helps us to dissolve the ego, transcend this wheel of suffering and to instead become Love. Then from that place, making the conscious choice to step forward with our fullness of Love already awakened within us.
If only we could wake up to the profound value and fulfillment relating in this way of “being Love” actually brings to our hearts and souls. Being Love and stepping into Love together, without the attachment and clinging that causes suffering, is an eternal & infinite experience. In this way – Love can never be lost. People suffer inside when they have lost something they “loved” and/or fear that they will lose this something in the future.
Being Love in relationships frees us from this illusion of loss.
When I am in this place of Love, and you are in this place of Love, we are One.
Namaste.
Fragmentation
Have you ever noticed that the closer you get to someone the more that you see how fragmented they really are inside? Ya know, like you meet someone and from a distance you think to yourself, “Damn, he has his shit together.” Or, “Wow, she’s really kind.” And then the more time you spend with them you see how he is falling apart by the seams and can barely keep his head afloat. And that “kind” new friend you made, well her inner world is chaotic.
This is fragmentation. When people act, say, believe and preach a certain way but fall short of it being truly authentic. Authentic meaning there is “unity,” there is connection between the words, the thoughts, the actions --- ESPECIALLY when no one is looking.
Hey, there’s absolutely no judgment here. As I sat in front of my students this week to teach, I completely admitted that to them, that if they got close enough to me they would probably catch me behaving or speaking in a way that went completely against what I teach (preach) to them.
We all have this fragmentation and struggle with it being in our “blind spot.”
This fragmentation I speak of is true for every single human, unless they are a true master – fully enlightened. A true master, the exact opposite is true. The closer and closer you get to them, the more and more time you spend gazing into their interior world, you will find that everything about them is connected.
There is absolute unity.
So the question isn’t whether or not you or I struggle with this fragmentation – it exists, the struggle is REAL – but rather are we actively choosing to commit to the Great Work of enlightenment so we can do something about it!
Think of your fragmentation as the qualities outside your periphery – your blind spots. They are the qualities that maybe someone has pointed out to you along the way, but you’ve said to yourself, “Oh yeah, I might be a little selfish, monopolize the conversation, run late, etc. but it’s all good, it’s just who I am.” While people around you want to pull their freaking hair out because of how unbelievably annoyed they are at your selfishness, your obsessive chatter about yourself or you lack of respect for other people’s time.
If only we knew how others viewed our fragmentation.
If only we could see into our blindspots.
The Yogic path is about unity. It is about recovering a connection to all the fragmented aspects of ourselves so that ultimately – in this life or another – we exist in unity. We become the master, the inner guru.
A true master learns to master 1 thing – him or herself. Period.
How do we bring our fragmentation to unity? Easy. Bring light to it. Bring light by actually acknowledging, accepting and working on disengaging the samskaras – the patterns – of this fragmented behavior. You actually have to do the work, yes! With breath, patience, and a commitment to the Great Work, you will start to illuminate darkened aspects of your fragmentation and be able to bring them into the light of unity.
You can do it! I know you can.
Peace is Courageous
I received such a sweet gift the other day. It’s a sweater (Cashmere of course, “the way to a woman’s heart.”) that says, “Peace is Courageous.” Honestly, when I first opened the present and read the sweater I thought it read, “Peace is Contagious” which I completely agree with. Yet, I quickly realized that I had read it wrong.
“Peace is Courageous?” I thought to myself. Interesting, right? The more that I’ve thought about it (and nestled up in it while I write in the early AM hours) the more I truly resonate with its message
Courage is about living with your whole heart, wide open and present to whatever “is” in the now.
The word for peace in Sanskrit is “shanti.” In the Anusara school of Yoga, they define the word shantaya as “The realm of peace – an ultimate peacefulness that is complete and all-pervading.”
In my personal experience, “keeping my peace” (dwelling in the realm of shantaya) is one of the most courageous things I do everyday. In order to stay awakened to the ever-present perfection of peace inside of me, I must continually make the courageous choice to open my heart and accept whatever is. This isn’t necessarily as easy as it sounds because multiple things are happening at once...
“Keeping your peace” means staying anchored into your center, a place that is unaltered by whatever is happening outside of you. Living courageously means accepting whatever “is” and “allowing it to move through you – instead of rejecting or deflecting emotions, inviting them in.
Let's use the example of a close friend of yours happens to hurt your feelings. Regardless of what your friend said or did to hurt your feelings, you are still completely responsible for how you feel. Period.
No one has the power to make you feel a certain way.
I love how the Presence Process by Michael Brown describes this:
“If you are upset, it is the Universe setting you up.”
“Don’t shoot the messenger, get the message.”
(Especially since the Universe has an endless supply of messengers!)
When we wake up and claim our responsibility of how we feel inside, we can finally own the power to “Keep our Peace” in any situation or experience. This frees us from unnecessary worry, fear, anxiety, or blame in relationships. Having the power to “Keep our Peace” opens us up to profound connection and new depths of intimacy. So how do we do this?!
Keeping Your Peace:
First off, ground in the present moment and turn into the “realm” of peace inside that is profoundly complete and full. This can be done through visualization, breathwork or meditation.
In the example of being hurt by a friend, aligning first to the peace inside of yourself allows you to bring peace to the situation with your friend. Nothing is found outside of yourself – if you strive for resolution and peace in a relationship, first cultivate it within yourself.
Courage:
After having found your peace, your realm of shantaya inside, your willingness to bring this peace and open heartedness to resolve conflict, tension or hurt in relationship is one of the most courageous things one can do.
Open Heart = Vulnerability
Vulnerability = A Doorway to Deeper Dimensions of Love
Keeping your heart open doesn’t involve pushing away feelings of hurt, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, fear, anger, etc and only focusing on the "light." Peace is cultivated by accepting all emotions for simply what they are – felt resonances containing information – and nothing more.
What you feel has absolutely nothing to do with another person. Feelings originate from inside of you, not outside of you.
In order to maintain your peace people, you must cultivate the courage to accept whatever “is” in the “now” and allow it to cleaning pass through you without clinging to or pushing away any emotional signature. This ensures that no sticky residue is left behind in your energy system. Emotions are just energy – keep the energy flowing by having the courage to open your heart and “keep your peace.”
Try Easy Baby!
For those of us yogis, it probably isn’t the first time we have heard the phrase “try easy” as it relates to the physical practice of Yoga. Oftentimes we can find our selves “pushing,” “fighting” and “forcing” in the postures on our mats. I would also venture to guess that if this energy to “push” your way through shows up on the mat, it probably is showing up somewhere else in your life, whether in your relationship with yourself, others, or your creative expressions such as work, dreams, and intentions.
Last week I found myself with a little bit of writer’s block. I stared motionless at my computer screen for one hour without receiving a single clear sentence or direction to take. Shit happens! Thank goodness that the one thing that I know for certain is that the more I “force” or “push” myself to write, the more limited I feel. The more limited I feel, the less my creative inspiration flows.
So I took a break and went for my afternoon meditation session at the temple. As I sat in silence, allowing my breath to deepen, my agitation to dissipate and my energy to soften and expand, I opened back up. In that moment of opening I received incredible guidance. “Try easy baby.”
I knew what a magical shift this persepctive would have on my writing time. I am a big believer that we are not meant to force, push, fight or muscle our way through to create.
Instead, I believe we find those things that we are naturally good at (our true gifts, talents and abilities), the things that make us feel most like our selves, and turn those things into our passions, our job, our commitment or our dreams.
When I “try easy” when I write, the page fills with words. When I “try easy” on my mat, my practice is fluid, weightless and fun. When I “try easy” as I teach, I delight in my personal offering without fearing judgment or criticism. When I “try easy” in my relationships, my heart feels free and I am inspired by Love. “Trying easy” keeps me open and expanded in all the moments of my life, bringing me a great sense ofcontentment.
Contentment isn’t the high-low, up-down intensity that forging forward with your personal will brings you. Contentment is peaceful, steady and brings a great deal of ease to one’s body, mind and heart.
Trying easy is equivalent to surrendering your personal will (which is what my new book is allllllll about friends...yay!).
When you surrender your personal will, you give up all of the drama that pushing and forcing your way through life brings with it.
We give up all the drama and in return we open to something so much more magical. Miracles. By surrendering our effort, miracles become possible where we only felt or saw limitation.